A Singularly Plural Life

Date: November 6th, 2020 10:55 PM

Previously on PZ: My Life Before Zero: November 2020 Reminiscence


I was part of a biological family unit once. It was rather unhappy, despite the happy facades my parents had put into place to make our family seem, well... normal. I was never really allowed to develop deep friendships since none of my friends ever pleased my parents, and I was so hungry for knowledge my parents purposefully kept from me. I grew up feeling very alone, despite living in a house constantly filled with people. I still am alone in some respects, despite living on a planet filled with billions of other humans. They are close to me in proximity but there is always an ocean between us. Even in a room or an encampment full of people having fun, I still find myself feeling utterly alone and disconnected from the rest of the human race.

And yet, somehow I am never alone. I am not just a singular being: I am a plurality of beings. My pronouns are actually They/Them, but I have difficulty explaining to anyone who isn't me that this is because of my consciousness, not my gender. These consciousnesses are composed of beings of all genders. The closest thing I can say to get this point across is that I am a hive-minded person. All of the spirits, all of the ancestors, all of the totality of beings, are necessarily within Me. I have no reason to contact the dead, for I am the dead. I have no reason to connect with the living, for I am the living. I have no reason to pray to God, for I am God. This may smack of sacrilege to some, but that is only because they do not recognize that this is equally true of them, as well.

That which humans call God is in the people, the animals and plants and minerals; God is in the stars, and all the spaces in between.

This concept of a plurality in a single person is very difficult for me to explain. I've never attempted to really define this experience before. It's not really a well-defined experience. The closest thing in reality that I can point to and say "it's kinda like that" would be Abraham-Hicks... except I don't use this experience to con people out of their money like they do. It isn't multiple personality disorder, I know that for certain. And these "blocks of thought", as Abraham-Hicks puts it (and I feel it's an apt description)— they are not hallucinations, although sometimes I find myself unsure if they are coming from sources inside of me or outside of me. I use research and meditation to sort them all out.

Also unlike Abraham-Hicks, these blocks or units of thought are for me often not well defined experiences, and there is no clear consensus amongst all of the beings. My ability to communicate well with (some of) them rests upon my equanimity and mood, and sometimes my immediate environment. I have narrowed the energies down to roughly two collections of voices or personalities in consensus: one feminine called Jubilee, and one masculine called Lucifer. They are perfect complements of each other, and emanate directly from (the closest word I can find for It) Ain Soph. Between the two of them there is a third consensus of beings who is both genderless and completely silent; I know the least about this emanation but that It is ZERO and I know that It, too, comes directly from Ain Soph.

aquarius symbol

Tags: Metaphysics, The Valentine, Philosophy, Psychology


Untitled Document