FUOAZ: Act 2

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]

Date: October 31st, 2019

Previously on PZ: Blue Laguna Voxel Diorama

Previously in Anjie's Universe: The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand: Act 1 [Pilot]

Anjie Zealand with two of her craziest alter-egos: AK-47 and Freaky Kitty.

Anjie Zealand in the therapist's chair surrounded by two of her most prominent alter-egos: AK-47 (left) and AK-47's most prominent alter-ego, Freaky Kitty (right).

Introducing...clickable collapsible fieldsets, thanks to Mirza Busatlic using the power of jquery. Thanks, dude!

ONE

Scene: 1 (IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

ANJIE: "What a waste." *rips a drawing in half* "Argh! Whoever would have thought drawing a picture of yourself would be so difficult, huh?" *crumples it & tosses it into a trashcan full of crumpled papers* "I’m going to lose the rest of my damn mind at this rate."
MORRIS: "Knock, knock, Jee."
ANJIE: "Door’s open, come on in."
MORRIS: *enters Anjie’s room* "Whatchya doing in here, Jee? You wildin’ again?"
ANJIE: "No, no, this is actually a project I’m working on. It’s supposed to be a self-portrait, but..."
MORRIS: *uncrumples several papers & examines them* "A self-portrait, huh? Why you making the same crazy face in all of ’em?"
ANJIE: "Well, ’cause I’m a crazy person. It fits."
MORRIS: "Yeah, but you don’t look like The Scream." *makes ’The Scream’ face* "Hiiiiiiiiii, IIII’mmm Aaaaannnnjiieeeeeeeeeee!"
ANJIE: "Haha, very funny, Edvard Munch. But seriously, this is way harder than it looks. Self-portraits aren’t supposed to look like they belong in a horror flick."
MORRIS: "I thought your life pretty much WAS a horror flick."
ANJIE: "It is, but I don’t want it to be. I want my portrait to be... different."
MORRIS: "You already different, Anjie. And there’s nothing wrong with being different." *gestures widely to his wheelchair* "OBVIOUSLY."
ANJIE: "I know that, it’s just... I wish I knew what I was like without my flaws. Like, if I was born without the crazy storm in my head... I wish I knew what that looked like, so I could draw that version of me instead."
MORRIS: "So draw that. Imagine what that would look like for you. And you just draw whatever you see."
ANJIE: "I just can’t SEE it, though. That’s the problem. I’m stuck."
MORRIS: "Nah, you not stuck, you’re just jaded. C’mon, let’s go get something to eat, we’ll get you some fresh air. This ish can sit tight ’til later. Maybe we’ll visit an art gallery, you know, for some inspiration."
ANJIE: "Yeah... inspiration! Hey, did you see the Denver Art Museum’s latest exhibit?"
MORRIS: "The one with the costumes and set pieces from the old Star Wars films?"
ANJIE: "Yeah! You wanna go check it out?"
MORRIS: "Hell yeah, that shit looked like fun! We gotta visit the other art exhibits too, though."
ANJIE: "Deal. And, Morris? Is there an ostrich in the window?"
MORRIS: "Nope, nothing there."
ANJIE: "Really, because... it’s reaching its head in and I can feel it breathing on my neck. It’s, like, super close to my ear."
MORRIS: "Nah, Jee, you trippin’."
OSTRICH: "Tripping balls!"
ANJIE: "...Huh. Well, let’s get going, shall we? Pizza first!"
MORRIS: "Good, ’cause I’m starving!" *exits the room, followed by Anjie*

TWO

Scene: 2 (IN THE DENVER ART MUSEUM)

ANJIE: "Ohh my GAWD, I can’t believe I got to SEE the actual outfit and laser gun that Princess Leia used in ’A New Hope’! She is by far my favorite character in all the Star Wars movies. What a badass!"
MORRIS: "Naw, the REAL badass of the series is Darth Vader. That nigga be killing off entire planets and slaughterin’ people n’ shit all tha time like it was nothin’! I know who I’m dressing up as for Halloween."
ANJIE: "I know who I’m dressing up as for my self-portrait, haha. And, maybe, Halloween."
MORRIS: *mimicking Darth Vader’s voice* "Leia, I am your father!"
ANJIE: *dramatically* "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
AK-47: "YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!"
ANJIE: "Oh shit."
MORRIS: "What’s up?"
AK-47: "Don’t talk about yourself that way, Anjie."
ANJIE: "She’s awake."
MORRIS: "Uh-oh. The freaky one?"
ANJIE: "No, thankfully, just the obnoxious one."
AK-47: *sings and babbles incoherently*
MORRIS: "You wanna dip out or you good?"
ANJIE: "I really wanna stay."
MORRIS: "Okay. If things get too weird, you know what to do."
ANJIE: "Yeah, just grab your wheelchair and pretend I’m pushing you."
MORRIS: "That’s right."
AK-47: "That’s WRONG! Anjie, I hate to break it to ya, but I think your ’friend’ here is a bad influence."
ANJIE: "For the millionth time, I do not care about what you think of Morris, AK."
MORRIS: *chuckles*
AK-47: "You shut up! Or I’ll inhabit your body and make you piss on the floor in front of everyone!"
ANJIE: "You know what, Morris, I’ll just be right back. I gotta go get well again."
MORRIS: "’Aight, I’ll be around this area when you come back. Don’t let the ’lil cunt getchya down."
ANJIE: *chuckles* "Yeah, easier said than done, right."
AK-47: "Just who is HE calling a cunt?"
MORRIS: "I believe in you, Anjie. You can win."
AK-47: "He’s wrong, ya know." *in sing-song voice* "You might as well surrender Dorothy..."
ANJIE: "AK, I’m really not in the mood for your shit right now."
AK-47: "You’re never in the mood for my shit right now."
ANJIE: "I’m going back into that room and I am looking at some fantastic artwork and there is nothing you can do to stop me."
AK-47: "HA! Remember what happened the LAST time you said that to me?!"
ANJIE: "No- wait, what are you doing?"
AK-47: "Nothing, la dee da." *undresses the Princess Leia mannequin*
ANJIE: "THAT is not nothing, AK. Stop it right now!"
AK-47: "Haven’t you always wanted to wear this? Come ON, this is Leia’s iconic white dress! Carrie Fisher herself wore this dress!" *dresses Anjie with the costume* "We can find Darth Vader’s lightsaber and pretend Leia got it from killing him!"
ANJIE: "No! No! Stop playing! We can’t be doing this!"
AK-47: "Well, you’re wearing it now. Ooooh, the mannequin’s got Leia’s big buns wig, too!" *puts the wig on Anjie’s head* "Now all you need is a weapon! Here we go!" *thrusts the laser gun prop into Anjie’s hand*
ANJIE: "Ow, you’re hurting me! Stop!"
MUSEUM ATTENDANT: "Ma’am, you are not allowed to touch anything! This is a museum!"
ANJIE: *distressed* "I really don’t mean to be doing this, I swear!"
MUSEUM ATTENDANT: "Remove the costume at once!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "Millennial Falcon, here we come!" *runs around the room pretending to shoot the laser gun prop at other guests* "Pew-pew! Pew, pew, pew! Pew!"
MUSEUM ATTENDANT: *chases Anjie* "Young lady, you must stop immediately! SECURITY!!"
MORRIS: *sees Anjie running around maniacally* "Oh no..." *watches Security run by*
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "I’m Princess Leia, look at me! Pew-pew!"
MUSEUM SECURITY: "Ma’am, step away from the movie set! Do NOT go in that cockpit!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "Whheeeeeee, warp speed! I’ll drive this thing better than Solo ever did!"
MORRIS: *rolls forward* "Hey Anjie, come on, let’s go get some ice cream!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "I don’t have to listen to you! You’re not my real dad!"
MUSEUM SECURITY: "Sir, do you know this woman?"
MORRIS: "Yeah, she’s... special." *taps his skull* "Hold on, I’ll try to get her outta there."
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "You’ll never catch me alive, bitches! Pew, pew!"
MORRIS: "Jee! We still gotta check out the whole contemporary exhibit, let’s go see that one piece you like, with the foxes!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "You stay out of this! All you want is to keep her to yourself! We’re going places, and you’re NOT invited!"
MORRIS: "She doesn’t belong to you, AK. Let her go."
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "This whole joint belongs to me! Everything you see here is MINE!" *throws the laser gun prop at Security*
MUSEUM SECURITY: "Sir, we’re going to have to remove her before she disturbs anything else."
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "I’ll disturb YOU!" *points at random people while running from Security* "And you! And you! And you, and you, and you!"
MUSEUM SECURITY: "Catch her! Over there, don’t let her get away!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: "All of this is mine!" *touches all the artwork within reach* "This is mine! And this is mine! Mine! MINE! MMIIIIINNE!!"
MUSEUM SECURITY: *grabs Anjie from behind* "I’ve got her! C’mere, you little loony toon!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: *projectile vomits onto the Museum Attendant, who becomes even more horrified* "Awww, my pizza got lost."
MUSEUM SECURITY: *beyond irritated* "COME ON!"
ANJIE & AK-47 IN UNISON: *reaches out as Security drags her away* "Help me, Obi Wan, you’re my only hoooooooooope!" *they exit*
MORRIS: *sighs* "Quit ya gawkin’, e’rybody, ain’t nothin’ polite ’bout staring at people that sick in they head." *exits*

THREE

Scene: 3 (AT THE BUS STOP)

ANJIE: "Morris... I’m really sorry. As usual."
MORRIS: "Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry about, Jee. We’ve been over this."
ANJIE: "I know, but I still feel bad every time we get kicked out of some place on account of me."
MORRIS: "This time it wasn’t YOU at all, Anjie, it was entirely your illness. When those security guys said your breathalyzer was completely clean, my jaw dropped to the floor. You were sober as fuck in there."
ANJIE: "Yeah, that’s because I haven’t drank a drop since Dr. Harmon died."
MORRIS: "Really?"
ANJIE: "Mmhmm."
MORRIS: "Why’s that?"
ANJIE: *shrugs* "I dunno. Maybe because he was yelling at me about my flask that day. And then the shit hit the fan, and... well, you know."
MORRIS: "Yeah." *nods into the distance* "Here comes the bus."
ANJIE: "About time, sheesh."
HOT LADY: *walks by quickly yet seductively* "Hey there, Morris."
MORRIS: "Hey there, baby." *nods at her with great interest*

(ANJIE AND MORRIS BOARD THE BUS 13Z)

ANJIE: "Sooo, Morris, do you usually go for the chicks with dicks, or...?"
MORRIS: "Whaddyah mean?"
ANJIE: "That chick was a DUDE."
MORRIS: "Naw, you trippin’, Jee."
ANJIE: "I saw the bulge. I’m just saying, it makes sense."
MORRIS: "I dunno what the fuck you’re talkin’ about. She was hot!"
ANJIE: "That she was." *nods in agreement*

(A FEW SEATS AWAY, A FATHER CARES FOR HIS TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS. ALL OF THEM ARE SMILING AND LAUGHING. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SMILES TOO.)

MORRIS: "So... you got a new therapist, right? I think you mentioned it."
ANJIE: "Yeah, I did, he’s the one who assigned me the self-portrait project in the first place. Dr. Dischord."
MORRIS: "Ahhh, I see. Is he cool?"
ANJIE: "He seems okay, he’s really mellow compared to Dr. Harmon. He’s got these really weird paintings in his office that he says he made. I think he may be able to help me a little bit, if my gut turns out to be right."
MORRIS: *nods in agreement* "That’s awesome, Jee. Here’s hopin’!"

(A FEW SEATS AWAY THERE IS A FIGHTING COUPLE. IN THE SEAT IN FRONT OF THEM IS A MAN SLUMPED INTO THE WALL, COMPLETELY PASSED OUT. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SIGHS.)

ANJIE: "So... what’s going on in your life, Morris? Have you heard back from any of the colleges you applied to?"
MORRIS: "A couple of ’em, yeah. You’ll never guess who loved my portfolio and wants me to intern with them this fall!"
ANJIE: *gasps excitedly* "Ooooooh, is it Dishley?"
MORRIS: *overjoyed* "YES!!"
ANJIE: "DUDE! That is awesome!" *high-fives Morris* "That’s your dream job right there, bro! And you got an internship there!"
MORRIS: "It’ll be unpaid, but it sure is a foot in the door!"
ANJIE: "I’m uber proud of you, Morris. Be sure to remember me when you become a famous animator and live in Hollywood one day."
MORRIS: "You say that like you ain’t gonna be somebody yourself one day."
ANJIE: "Awww, let’s face it, I’ll never be somebody."
MORRIS: "Says who?"
ANJIE: "Says virtually everybody that ISN’T you."
MORRIS: "Well, your alter-egos opinions don’t count."
ANJIE: "But my parents’ opinions do. They’re worried I won’t amount to anything, I can tell."
MORRIS: "Of course you’ll amount to something, Anjie. There’s a place in the world for everybody. You’ll find yours."
ANJIE: "Thanks, Morris. I just hope I find it soon, while I’m still young."

(ANJIE AND MORRIS EXIT THE BUS 13Z)

FOUR

Scene: 4 (IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

ANJIE: "Hey, Morris, is this place new?"
MORRIS: "What place?"
ANJIE: *points* "Over here, this little... antique shop, I guess? I’ve never seen it before."
MORRIS: "Damn, you’re right, this place was empty for years. Must be brand spankin’ new!"
ANJIE: "Wow, look at those old portrait paintings. Should we go in and check it all out?"
MORRIS: "Sure, why not?" *enters through the shop’s entrance, followed by Anjie*

(INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP, THE ONLY LIVING SOUL TO BE SEEN IS AN ELEGANT ELDERLY SHOPKEEPER)

SHOPKEEPER: "Good afternoon, friends! Should ye have any interest in any of these fine goods, I should be quite happy to tell ye more about them!"
ANJIE: "This place is amazing. There’s so much to see, to take in... there’s paintings, and trinkets, and knick-knacks everywhere... This is the perfect place for inspiration!"
SHOPKEEPER: "May I ask what it is ye need some inspiration for?"
ANJIE: "I have this extracurricular art project I’m working on, it’s a self-portrait. But it never comes out right."
MORRIS: *makes ’The Scream’ face*
ANJIE: *chuckles* Yeah, it always ends up looking like that." *points at Morris*
SHOPKEEPER: "Do ye feel it does not accurately reflect ye?"
ANJIE: "I feel it accurately reflects all the wrong parts of me."
SHOPKEEPER: "Ahhh, now I understand. Creating a self-portrait is like shining a light upon ye soul. It casts illumination upon something that is there. But, have ye seen pictures of the large Abraham Lincoln statue lit with a spotlight from opposing directions? The difference between appearing as a frightened novice or as a seasoned veteran is like the difference between night and day. The way ye cast ye light upon a subject can bring out different facets of its existence. What ye want to do, my dear, is cast ye light differently."
ANJIE: "Uh... how?"
SHOPKEEPER: "Create a self-portrait of who ye WANT to be, who ye could be with just a wee bit of magic, instead of creating a self-portrait of who ye think ye are."
MORRIS: "Boom! What did I tell you, Jee?"
ANJIE: "Okay... okay." *nods in agreement* "I want to be... at peace. I want to be care-free, and... more or less like everybody else."
SHOPKEEPER: "Then create ye self-portrait as if ye are already THAT person. See?"
ANJIE: "Yeah... yeah, I do, actually. I couldn’t really SEE that before. Thank you, Miss...?"
SHOPKEEPER: "I am Lady Lucy, m’dear. And ye are...?"
ANJIE: "Oh, I’m Anjie, and this is my best friend Morris."
MORRIS: *waves* "We saw yo shop and wanted to come check it out. It’s been a long time since anything’s occupied this space."
SHOPKEEPER LADY LUCY: "There is one more thing I would love for ye both to see. If ye have a moment more?"
ANJIE: *shrugs at Morris* "Sure, why not?"
SHOPKEEPER LADY LUCY: *points at a large specific painting* "This here is a self-portrait of a woman who is very near and dear to me heart. She needed inspiration, too, before she painted this."
ANJIE: "It’s beautiful, she did a good job. She looks so... huh, almost familiar, but not really quite... who is she?"
SHOPKEEPER LADY LUCY: "The great Doctor Anzeal. Her life’s work in this world is to rid it of the horrors of disease."
ANJIE: "Wow, that’s... amazing and admirable. That’s kind of... that's what I kinda want to do, too, with my life. I never knew that painting self-portraits was so much of a thing among doctors."
SHOPKEEPER LADY LUCY: "Oh, I’m sure ye will create many self-portraits throughout ye life, Anjie. They are so addictive, after all. Good luck with yours, I am certain it will turn out beautifully."
ANJIE: "Thank you, Lady Lucy. Have a good day!" *exits*
MORRIS: "It was nice meeting you, ma’am, goodbye!"*exits*
SHOPKEEPER LADY LUCY: "Goodbye, friends!" *hums happily*

(BACK IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

ANJIE: "YOU were awful quiet in there, Mister Woman’s Man. I kept expecting you to flirt with her hardcore. She was fucking hot for an older woman."
MORRIS: *shrugs* "Eh, she just ain’t my type. She’s old enough to be my grandma."
ANJIE: "Hey, if beautiful, dark-skinned, mysterious older women aren’t for you, I’ll GLADLY snatch them up! I love maturity."
MORRIS: "I feel ya, Jee. Ya coming with?"
ANJIE: "Hmm, I’m feeling kinda inspired now, I think I’m gonna head home and work on that self-portrait. Thanks for getting me out into the fresh air."
MORRIS: "No problem, Jee, you have a good night. I’ll text ya later." *does their secret handshake with Anjie & fistbumps*
ANJIE: "Have a good night, Morris. Tell everyone I said hi. You playin’ the new Doom Raiders game tonight?"
MORRIS: "Actually, I have a date I’m really excited for."
ANJIE: "Nice! Well, good luck, my man! Late!" *waves & walks away*
MORRIS: "Late." *waves & rolls away*

FIVE

Scene: 5 (BACK IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

(ANJIE IS NEARLY FINISHED PAINTING HER SELF-PORTRAIT, WHICH SHOWS HER SMILING CONTENTEDLY LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL. SEEING THIS, ANJIE ALSO SMILES AND SIGHS HAPPILY)

ANJIE: "What a beaut!" *inhales & exhales slowly on a joint as she stares proudly at her handiwork*
PIKABOO: "Fantastic job, Anjie! Keep up the great work!"
ANJIE: "Thanks, Pikaboo. That means a lot coming from an electric marsupial such as yourself." *happily hums to the music playing from her speaker(s) and returns to painting*

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]

Scene: 1 (IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

Scene: 2 (IN THE DENVER ART MUSEUM)

Scene: 3 (AT THE BUS STOP)

(ANJIE AND MORRIS BOARD THE BUS 13Z)

(A FEW SEATS AWAY, A FATHER CARES FOR HIS TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS. ALL OF THEM ARE SMILING AND LAUGHING. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SMILES TOO.)

(A FEW SEATS AWAY THERE IS A FIGHTING COUPLE. IN THE SEAT IN FRONT OF THEM IS A MAN SLUMPED INTO THE WALL, COMPLETELY PASSED OUT. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SIGHS.)

(ANJIE AND MORRIS EXIT THE BUS 13Z)

Scene: 4 (IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

(INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP, THE ONLY LIVING SOUL TO BE SEEN IS AN ELEGANT ELDERLY SHOPKEEPER)

(BACK IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

Scene: 5 (BACK IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

(ANJIE IS NEARLY FINISHED PAINTING HER SELF-PORTRAIT, WHICH SHOWS HER SMILING CONTENTEDLY LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL. SEEING THIS, ANJIE ALSO SMILES AND SIGHS HAPPILY)

(FIN: ACT 2)

~Purchase the Act 2 ebook HERE~

Next in Anjie's Universe: Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand: Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]

Scene: 1 (IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

Scene: 2 (IN THE DENVER ART MUSEUM)

Scene: 3 (AT THE BUS STOP)

(ANJIE AND MORRIS BOARD THE BUS 13Z)

(A FEW SEATS AWAY, A FATHER CARES FOR HIS TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS. ALL OF THEM ARE SMILING AND LAUGHING. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SMILES TOO.)

(A FEW SEATS AWAY THERE IS A FIGHTING COUPLE. IN THE SEAT IN FRONT OF THEM IS A MAN SLUMPED INTO THE WALL, COMPLETELY PASSED OUT. SEEING THIS, ANJIE SIGHS.)

(ANJIE AND MORRIS EXIT THE BUS 13Z)

Scene: 4 (IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

(INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP, THE ONLY LIVING SOUL TO BE SEEN IS AN ELEGANT ELDERLY SHOPKEEPER)

(BACK IN FRONT OF THE MYSTERIOUS GIFTSHOP ENTRANCE)

Scene: 5 (BACK IN ANJIE’S ROOM)

(ANJIE IS NEARLY FINISHED PAINTING HER SELF-PORTRAIT, WHICH SHOWS HER SMILING CONTENTEDLY LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL. SEEING THIS, ANJIE ALSO SMILES AND SIGHS HAPPILY)

(FIN: ACT 2)

~Purchase the Act 2 ebook HERE~

Next in Anjie's Universe: Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]