This year has been like living in a bipolar reality. I got a new job and a new place to live early in the year, which has been very good for me. I was pretty depressed for a while leading up to Election Day, and feel pretty justified in my misanthropic musings upon seeing who won it. I was hospitalized in mid November for a giant blood clot in my right leg (again), and somehow came out of it with a renewed hope for life (I have no idea how it happend, but I'm grateful for that particular mind switch). This year I revisited Final Fantasy VIII, IX, and X, played the original Final Fantasy game for the first time, started playing Nikke: Goddess Of Victory in October, continued using the Finch app, and have been consuming all media I can get my hands on of Ghost In The Shell ever since the Winter Solstice. I started playing the original Silent Hill game again, only to grind to a halt at the same spot I always get stuck in: the fight with Cybil in the amusement park. I listened to various OSTs from Studio Ghibli, the FF games I mentioned, GITS, Nikke, Helluva Boss, The Amazing Digital Circus, Redline, Cowboy Bebop, The Piano, and The Social Network (a blah movie with an excellent soundtrack it never deserved). I listened to a lot of Lofi Girl, 2814, Frank Sinatra, Nine Inch Nails (also Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross duo), Dance With The Dead, Massive Attack, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, and Lady Gaga. I've listened to a lot of various artists and classical music, too; I've even listened to music made for dogs. For a hot second I listened to David Bowie's Starman on repeat. I'm sure there's more I'm not remembering at the moment. I also worked on several of my projects quite a bit, and even started making a tiny videogame using PICO-8. Lately I've been keeping myself busy with drawing, painting, and writing, trying to keep the pen moving regardless of what comes out of it. When the pen stops, I sink deep, and so I have to keep it moving... if I'm going to continue to live, that is. I don't know where I'm going anymore, but when I look back on my life, I never really knew anyways. I'm doing my best to just focus on the present moment, without ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. I'll get better slowly, in private, without the consent of the rest of the world, and that's all there is to it.

By all means, it wasn't a bad year. I've come out of this trip around the Sun with a clarity I consider both a blessing and a curse.

And as for the next trip? This 2025 year, I think what I'll do is, I'll pretend I'm one of those deaf-mutes. Because I'm done with this society, and have been for quite some time. However, I still have a cosmic mission to carry out, and failure is not an option. I can't die yet.