The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand:
Act 3 [One Fell Into The Cuckoo's Nest]

Date: November 21st, 2019

Previously on PZ: Meditations: A Universe Without Love

Previously in Anjie's Universe: The Fantastic Universe Of Anjie Zealand: Act 2 [Art You Happy Now?]

Content Warning: some strong language & drug use ahead.

Anjie Zealand with two of her craziest alter-egos: AK-47 and Freaky Kitty.

Anjie Zealand in the therapist's chair surrounded by two of her most prominent alter-egos: AK-47 (left) and AK-47's most prominent alter-ego, Freaky Kitty (right).

Anjie Zealand in Dimension 5612 standing next to the spaghetti lake.

Dimension 5612 represented in voxels: Anjie standing next to the spaghetti lake

ONE

Scene: 1 (IN ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL CLASSROOM #102A)


MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
*speaking dryly* "...and then they signed a peace treaty, which lasted until they went to war again three weeks later. As the death toll increased, cannibalism became an issue..."

ANJIE
*sighs deeply*

(THE ENTIRE CLASS IS BORED AND PRACTICALLY PUT TO SLEEP BY THE DRONING VOICE OF THEIR TEACHER, WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO NOTICE AT ALL. ANJIE SITS IN THE BACK PRETENDING TO READ A TEXTBOOK WITH A COMIC BOOK IN IT.)


MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
"...then came the royal armada... Miss Zealand, put the comic book away. I know graduation is just around the corner, but we’ve been over this dozens of times now."

ANJIE
*rolls eyes and groans as she shuts the entire textbook*

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
"Thank you. Now, where were we? Oh yes, the armada... Now, when the armada came, there was a rather wide consensus that consumption of human flesh would lead to a zombie apocalypse..."

ANJIE, THINKING
'Crap in a hat, I just can’t take this anymore... graduating so soon... and yet so far away, ugh... the struggle is so real. How am I gonna get through this??'

PIKABOO
"Hi, Anjie!" *flies around the room merrily above the students’ heads* "Why not ask Dr. Anzeal for help?"

ANJIE
"...Hey, you’re right!"

SEVERAL STUDENTS
*give Anjie questioning looks*

ANJIE
*demurely* "Sorry, sorry." *pretends to take notes*

PIKABOO
"Maybe she could help you find a cure!"

ANJIE, THINKING
'That’s it! If she really wants to rid the world of disease, she’d definitely help me out! If only I knew how to contact her... I could explain everything to her, and I’m sure she’d have SOMETHING to help me... some sort of serum, or elixir, or a pill or something... a brain chip, even? Hell, I’d take a brain chip implant if it meant having a normal brain for once... I mean, she looked pretty science-y in that painting of hers, maybe she could just replace my entire brain!

Maybe it’s my destiny to meet this Dr. Anzeal lady... I bet she’s nice, and healthy, too. But... how am I gonna find her? Is Anzeal her last name, or her first name? I’ll just Google her name and see what comes up. She’s probably famous, like Dr. Zoe on tv... Well, searching for her would be a helluva lot better use of my time than rotting away in this classroom any longer. If I could just... find a way to be dismissed from class, I could actually do something worthwhile with my life.

I could find a cure and finally be a NORMAL human being, with only me in my head, just like everybody else. Yes! I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel! I can DO THIS! I am gonna find Dr. Anzeal if it’s the last thing I do!'

ANJIE
*throws fists into the air triumphantly* "EUREKA!!"

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
"Ahem! Have you something to share with the classroom, Miss Zealand?"

ANJIE
*pulls arms down and folds them into her lap* "Oh, um, no, but... I DO need to use the restroom again. Please. It’s an emergency this time."

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
*sighs* "Very well, Anjie. There’s clearly no getting your attention today, and I cannot say that I blame you."

ANJIE
"Thanks, Mrs. Whumpuscutch. I’ll be back in a jiffy." *exits the classroom*

MRS. WHUMPUSCUTCH
"Uh-huh. Well, anyways, class, can anyone tell me the name of the dictator who sawed off his own head? Anyone? Anyone?"

(IN THE ALLSWELL HIGHSCHOOL HALLWAYS)


ANJIE
*opens her locker* "Senioritis sucks, but luckily I have the antidote." *pulls an eletronic tablet from the locker* "Internet! Now, let’s see what we can find on Google." *types in ’Doctor Anzeal’ and presses the search button* "Hmmmm... Oh wow, there’s NOTHING, except... except she’s speaking at Allswell University, one week before graduation. That’s it! That’s her picture right there! What’s she talking about?...Neurodiversity? Huh, that sounds weird... M.D., Ph.D., Masters... she’s got degrees like a fleet of cars, but no other background info? Hmmm..."

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
"Just what do you think you’re doing out of class, Miss Zealand?"

ANJIE
"Oh! Principal Antonia! I was just -"

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
*contemptuously* "Purchasing comic books again?"

ANJIE
"Uh, not this time. I was just doing some research..."

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
"Show it to me."

ANJIE
*sheepishly hands the principal her electronic tablet*

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
"Dr. Anzeal speaking at Allswell University... what is this about?"

ANJIE
"Uh, well, I um... was thinking of going there, after graduation, so I wanted to check it out, and maybe learn something about Neurodiversity while I’m at it."

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
*surprised yet impressed* "Is that so?"

ANJIE
"Yeah, absolutely."

PRINCIPAL ANTONIA
"Hmmm. Well, good luck with that, Anjie." *hands her back her tablet, folds hands behind his back* "In the meantime, get back to class, before you earn yourself some detention."

ANJIE
"Yes, sir! Will do! Thank you!" *watches the principal walk away then sighs with relief* "Phew, that was close."

LUCILLE MARIE
*behind Anjie* "Hey, sorry about my dad."

ANJIE
"Uh what?" *turns around* "Oh, Lucille Marie! You heard that?"

LUCILLE MARIE
"Yeah. He’s super into Allswell University because he wants me to go there... by the way, are you really thinking of enrolling there?"

ANJIE
*in a love stupor* "Uh, where? OH! Um, yes, absolutely thinking of enrolling at A.U. I don’t know what I’ll be going for, yet, but I figure I’ll figure it out along the way."

LUCILLE MARIE
"Cool, cool. I’m really interested in their astrophysics program, but my parents... they want me to be a medical doctor."

ANJIE
"Really? Oh wow, that really is something. I’m sure no matter what you decide to do, you’ll be really successful at it. I mean... I’m no straight-A student like you are, which is why I’ve always looked up to you." *laughs nervously*

LUCILLE MARIE
*chuckles* "Thanks, Anjie. Maybe Allswell University won’t be so bad with a familiar face in the crowd."

ANJIE
*sighs dreamily as if in a trance*

LUCILLE MARIE
"Well, I’d better go before I risk getting detention... Dad feels the need to be one of THOSE principals, just to prove he’s not lenient with his own kids. Bye, Anjie." *exits*

ANJIE
"Uh, goodbye!" *whispers to herself* "You talked to me! I can’t believe it! Lucille Marie Antonia, one day I’m going to ask you to marry me." *gasps suddenly* "Hrrnghh! Errreeet! Ohhh noooo!" *twitches and becomes stupefied, drools profusely and wags tongue around* "Hngrrhhhnn... Gahh!"

(ANJIE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY CREEPY ANJIE, AN ALTERNATE PERSONALITY WHO SNARLS AS SHE BREATHES HEAVILY AND CONSTANTLY HOLDS HER ARMS LIKE A T-REX.)


CREEPY ANJIE
"Heh heh, heh... where’s the girl’s locker room around here? Heh heh..." *walks off slowly with a limp and a lazy eye*





~Purchase the Act 3 ebook HERE~



Next in Anjie's Universe: Act 4 [What Is This?]

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